Video

jtotheizzoe:

Are Male and Female Brains Different?

This awesome new video from BrainCraft takes a look at the old adage “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” through the lens of modern brain science. Sure, there’s lots of biological differences between people who identify as male, female, or neither… but in terms of our brains, do any of them really matter? Or are we just trying to mold science into what society already believes is true?

Watch and learn.

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When [an abusive man] tells me that he became abusive because he lost control of himself, I ask him why he didn’t do something even worse. For example, I might say, “You called her a fucking whore, you grabbed the phone out of her hand and whipped it across the room, and then you gave her a shove and she fell down. There she was at your feet where it would have been easy to kick her in the head. Now, you have just finished telling me that you were ‘totally out of control’ at that time, but you didn’t kick her. What stopped you?” And the client can always give me a reason. Here are some common explanations:

"I wouldn’t want to cause her a serious injury."
“I realized one of the children was watching.”
“I was afraid someone would call the police.”
“I could kill her if I did that.”
“The fight was getting loud, and I was afraid the neighbors would hear.”

And the most frequent response of all:

"Jesus, I wouldn’t do that. I would never do something like that to her.”

The response that I almost never heard — I remember hearing it twice in the fifteen years — was: “I don’t know.”

These ready answers strip the cover off of my clients’ loss of control excuse. While a man is on an abusive rampage, verbally or physically, his mind maintains awareness of a number of questions: “Am I doing something that other people could find out about, so it could make me look bad? Am I doing anything that could get me in legal trouble? Could I get hurt myself? Am I doing anything that I myself consider too cruel, gross, or violent?”

A critical insight seeped into me from working with my first few dozen clients: An abuser almost never does anything that he himself considers morally unacceptable. He may hide what he does because he thinks other people would disagree with it, but he feels justified inside. I can’t remember a client ever having said to me: “There’s no way I can defend what I did. It was just totally wrong.” He invariably has a reason that he considers good enough. In short, an abuser’s core problem is that he has a distorted sense of right and wrong.

I sometimes ask my clients the following question: “How many of you have ever felt angry enough at youer mother to get the urge to call her a bitch?” Typically half or more of the group members raise their hands. Then I ask, “How many of you have ever acted on that urge?” All the hands fly down, and the men cast appalled gazes on me, as if I had just asked whether they sell drugs outside elementary schools. So then I ask, “Well, why haven’t you?” The same answer shoots out from the men each time I do this exercise: “But you can’t treat your mother like that, no matter how angry you are! You just don’t do that!”

The unspoken remainder of this statement, which we can fill in for my clients, is: “But you can treat your wife or girlfriend like that, as long as you have a good enough reason. That’s different.” In other words, the abuser’s problem lies above all in his belief that controlling or abusing his female partner is justifiable….

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— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via seebster)

(via cockismybusiness)

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"Is it just a bad night or am I getting bad again?"

— I ask myself this all the time (via lonexwxlf)

(via devil-ish-grins)

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:) 

(Source: belleresources, via ms-night-owl)

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lacigreen:

joponyhere:

lillianloverly:

THIS IS A PSA

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I TRULY BELIEVE THIS APP CAN HELP SOMEONE OUT THERE SO PLEASE DOWNLOAD IT

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signal boost the shit out of this

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(via technicallysam)

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furbearingbrick:

vampirequeeneffeffia:

rita-haxx:

Fucking Christ

These are technically still facts.

buzzkill facts totally need to be a thing

(Source: iraffiruse, via laughcentre)

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thisgingerischronic:

marinashutup:

congress

fuck
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rosydrops:

Cleaning
clean bathroom tips
organize your closet
how to fix a leaky faucet
how to keep a clean kitchen
removing stains from your carpet
Money
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
how to save money
How to Balance a Check Book
How to do Your Own Taxes
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things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
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how to remove a splinter


how to avoid a hangover

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things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

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recipes that take 30 minutes or less
Yummy apple thing
Brownie in a cup
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eggless cookie dough (not to bake, just to eat)
make recipes using things you already have
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make tiny chocolate chip cookies
20 dishes every cook should know
learn how to make your own tea
Macaroni and cheese in a mug
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40 on-the-go breakfast recipes
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what the hell is a mortgage?
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How to write cover letters
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ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
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read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking

how to get a book published


how to knit


how to use a polaroid camera


how to solve a rubik’s cube


how to stop biting your nails


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how to stop skipping breakfast


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how to stop swearing constantly


how to stop being a pushover

learn another language
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how to love yourself
learn how to do yoga
100 tips for life
learn how to make your own cards

rosydrops:

Cleaning

Money

Health

Emergency

Food

Home

Job

Travel

Better You

(Source: opulentes, via mikotouchiha)

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vittyyluvscookies:

unsolicited disney

(via ichigokia)

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royalsophistication:

blasianxbri:

pxeticarts:

SHE SAID IT.

my sentiments exactly

Yup

royalsophistication:

blasianxbri:

pxeticarts:

SHE SAID IT.

my sentiments exactly

Yup

(via issy2thebear)

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(Source: mare-moment, via dutchster)

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crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

(via agamethatneverends)